
“Nobody Loves You”: Hilarious Musical Mash-Up of The Bachelor—at ACT
Itamar Moses & Gaby Alter Spoof Modern Love with Glamor & Glitz
by Jennifer Charron
Love them or hate them; or love to hate them—reality dating shows fascinate audiences across the globe. “Nobody Loves You,” a wacky musical comedy at ACT, looks behind the scenes look at competitive dating shows, while strangely revealing an actual, romantic love story.
The show itself is a mélange of belting anthems from every character. Everyone in the cast has over-the-top singing chops and the contestants belt out their worries and anxieties in amazing solos. Even if the zany premise doesn’t resonate with you, their performances will wow you.
The set presents an endless sea of glaring lights, and flashy costumes, perfect for a loud, cheesy reality game show. All that glitz and glamor conceals some hard truths about love evolving in today’s dating games.

The musical opens with a ridiculously mismatched couple—rebellious Jeff (accomplished A.J. Holmes), a PhD candidate in philosophy, is desperately looking for a topic. But jubilant Tanya (bubbly Ashley D. Kelley) is popcorn-ready to watch her favorite dating show. When Tanya begs Jeff to watch with her, he disses the show: “I hate movies with romantic cliches that describe love as an earthly paradise for two.” Tanya retorts: “I hate guys that use their hatred of cliches as an excuse not to do anything nice for you.”
Tanya declares that she’s done and proclaims she will go on Nobody Loves You to find her true Romeo. Versatile Kelley also plays Nina, the manipulative TV show-runner—with amazing stage presence in both roles. Kelley hypnotizes in two totally different roles.
Director Pam McKinnon highlights Jeff’s skepticism and Tanya’s joy as they face the real/unreal world of Tick-Toc and mass media distractions.
The wonderful Kuhoo Verma plays Jenny, a young TV producer, who meets her match in Jeff. Their skeptical romance unfolds slowly. Verma enthralls with her clear-eyed acting, vivid voice, and a wealth of talents. And Holmes, as Jeff, makes a quick-witted opponent.

The wildly flashy host Byron (smooth-as-silk Jason Veasy) is the slickest guy, with magnificent sparkly yellow and red suits. Veasey is fantastically accomplished with a stirring singing voice and scathing, snarky outbursts. As Byron, Veasey dishes out his cruel accusation: “Nobody Loves You,” to each contestant.

Distraught Jeff decides he too will go on the show to get Tanya back. Once he gets to the auditions, he finds an outlandish cast of wacky participants, offering much of the comedy of the show. Contestant Megan (hilarious Molly Hager), a blonde Barbie, constantly tries to get into the pants of Christian (deadpan Seth Hanson), a strait-laced Christian.
Additional freakish and funny contestants include the desperate, dorky Samantha (appealing Ana Yi Puig) and witty, wonderful Dominic (exuberant John-Michael Lyles). Lyles is a powerhouse singer and dancer who shines as a gay roommate, too. Lyles is electric, with loads of talent.

As the program says, “Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl, Boy goes on girl’s favorite reality dating show to win her back.” But “Nobody Loves You” is so much more. It’s not just a feel-good musical; it’s a big, bright shiny object that is both hilarious and tender, a game in which everyone wins.

“Nobody Loves You” – book & lyrics by Itamar Moses, music & lyrics by Gaby Alter, choreographed by Steph Paul, directed by Pam MacKinnon, scenic design by Jason Ardizzone-West, costumes by Sarita Fellows, lighting by Russell H. Champa, sound by Jessica Paz, at A.C.T., San Francisco. Info: act-sf.org – to March 30, 2025.
Cast: Sophia Alawi, Stevie Allen, Molly Hager, Seth Hanson, A.J. Holmes, Ashley D. Kelley, John-Michael Lyles, Ana Yi Puig, Jason Veasey, and Kuhoo Verma.
Banner photo: Molly Hager, Jason Veasey, John-Michael Lyles, A.J. Holmes, Ana Yi Puig, Seth Hanson, and Ashley D. Kelley. Photos by Kevin Berne